^ My face while watching this.
– Austyn K. A.
An incredibly early 00s piece, American Psycho II: All American Girls was trash. Mired in corny lines, irrational happenings, and bad acting, this direct-to-video movie should’ve stayed in the drafts. But we know exactly why this movie was a terrible sequel to the cult classic American Psycho (2000), because it was never supposed to be a sequel to begin with. Created on a rushed timeline because filming had already started for the film under its original name The Girl Who Wouldn’t Die, APII shows exactly what happens when you make a movie for money and not for substance.
Now, what’s critically important here is that The Girl Who Wouldn’t Die wasn’t made to be a sequel to American Psycho (2000). It was completely divorced from the American Psycho universe, and when Lion’s Gate caught whiff of the success of Mary Harron’s acclaimed work they decided to edit the script for TGWWD to add the non-sensical opening scene which loosely ties it to the original. But little did Lion’s Gate know, they’d end up making one of the worst sequels of all time and likely losing money on their $10 million budget. Even though the movie is made terrible by its status of being a poorly-tied sequel, even if the movie hadn’t been made as a sequel it would’ve been pretty terrible.
From a body being hidden in a closet for a whole semester and somehow not smelling up the entire dorm, to stealing the identity of a well-known soon-to-be FBI agent, none of it makes sense. On top of that, no one says anything about this girl to police. And I get it, no-one can say it’s the main character Rachael (played by Mila Kunis) that is a killer, but come-on, she threatens people and their families, uses minimal levels of precaution against leaving evidence behind, and is very noticeably unhinged. Speaking of Mila Kunis, it’s incredibly surprising she even took this role. At the time this movie was made, Mila had already become a star with That 70’s Show and taken on the role of Meg in Family Guy, so we know it wasn’t the money driving her to do this. And yeah, it didn’t ruin her career as she would go on to star in things like Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but you’ve gotta wonder why she did this. But Mila isn’t the only star in this, there’s also William Shatner, Starship Captain extraordinaire William T. Kirk. And he didn’t play a little side-appearance, he was also a major character. At this point I’m convinced this movie was a backroom gag by the team as a massive inside joke. Having these two stars in the movie really did nothing but confuse because I couldn’t tell if the acting was bad or if the story was just so bad. In my heart of hearts I want to say that it wasn’t the acting that was what brought this movie to rock bottom but it definitely didn’t help.
Is there anything good or redeeming about this movie? No, just no. Don’t waste your time and/or money on this one folks, it ain’t worth it.
Official Rating: 2/13
The Inconsistent Times 